I Need To Vent!!!

This has been a real shitty day for me. Right when I woke up this morning it was bad. I woke up this morning at 6:15am and threw up. Then when I got up at 11:30am I got a call from my cousin Kassidy. First, I was excited to get a call from her but when I was listening to it I was pissed off. She wanted me to take off some of the pictures that I put up on here of my Grandpa in the coffin. She and some of her family was offended. Then an hour later I get a call from my mom. Saying the same damn thing and she didn't want the pictures on there either. I did not want to take the pictures off. They are my pictures and I can do whatever I want with my pictures. So I took off the pictures for my mom. Not for any of my other family just for my mom. My extended family and my mom made me really upset and sad today. I was so close of killing myself today. It's only when I have a real shitty day that I want to kill myself. And what I really hate is how everybody in this world thinks that pretty much everything they get defended. Give me a brake. I don't get defended easily. And I noticed that it's a lot of LDS people that get so defended. I was LDS but I'm not anymore. And a lot of my extended family leave me out. They have lefted me out for a really long time. I feel like they totally ignore me. Especially at our family Christmas parties. So I decided I"m not going to the family Christmas party this year. I hate being left out. I am not sorry for putting the pictures of Daddy-Daddy in his coffin on facebook. These pictures of Daddy-Daddy look like the Daddy-Daddy I remember. He looks so peaceful and out of pain in these pictures. He had a horrible stroke back in January of 2003. So when I would go over and see him he wasn't really there and I hated seeing him like that. It made me really sad to see him like that. Plus, I let him go a long time ago. So I have already grieved for him. And I know that everyone grieves in different ways. I thought that everyone would like to see the pictures from Daddy-Daddy's viewing and funeral. I didn't think the pictures would cause some much controversy. I didn't want to defended anybody but I'm glad that I took this pictures of Daddy-Daddy in his coffin. I've been wanting to take pictures of people that I love that have passed away for a long time and I never did until now. But I know that people who have looked at my pictures and especially the ones of Daddy-Daddy in his coffin liked them and did not get ofended. So I took them off out of respect for my mom only and not for some of my extened family. I'm glad that I got this off of my chest. I've been wanting to vent on here for a long time but never had the gutts. Now, I do and I feel a little bit better now. I know I shouldn't let things like this get to me but they do. I hate getting stress out over things like this. When I do get stressed out like this the next day I'll be sick. When I get stressed out I cry, get upset and want to kill myself. I need to find out other ways how to handle stress better. Well, I think I"m done venting now. Take care everyone and have a great rest of the week!!! Have a great weekend!!! The End.